If the Stonehearth Discourse was an airline

(A succession of appalling jokes relating the Stonehearth Discourse to an airline… )

"Hello there, I am @SteveAdamo, and I’ll be your pilot for today. We’ll be flying from Alpha 8 to Alpha 9! Today’s flight is DB2291 (Dev Build 2291). Today, you’ll be flying in a @Geoffers747 200 (Not like a Boeing 747 200 in case you don’t get the joke.)

“In the likely event of a crash, simply post a bug report, and proceed to have your computer lagged.”

“Thankyou for choosing Hearthling Airways!”


Not sure if you’re insinuating that I’m hugely obese, or frequently used to accommodating many people in various capacites. Ahem.

Carry on.


I think it was just a joke about your username.

1 Like

sigh I was just trying to be funny. Why won’t you let me be funny @dwalus?


German sense of humour.


Hey, I’m improving. Only a few more years in America and nobody will know the difference. :slight_smile:


If the discourse were an airline… all the flights would have 20 different stops before reaching their destination… which would be off course and land in the hellish pit that can only be labeled…

“The Map Game”



Can’t knock it 'till you try it.


“Turbulence! Turbulence!”

“We have encountered an angry storm of hateful discussion

“Brace yourselves- We’re entering–the map game”


The version i played was “Playground of the Gods” (multiple versions) on 40kforums.com.

Similar gameplay, which basically boiled down to the gods one-upping each other until the planet exploded…

“Full power to shields!”

“Sir, We have lost engines!”

“Brace for impact!”

Screaming and howling are heard before the recording ends abruptly


A few survivors from the crash crawl out from amid the rubble.

“Where are we? Some sort of forest?”

“I don’t know, but did you hear that?”

“No, I didn- What was that?!?!?!”

“That tree… It’s ALIVE!”

Well, map games are slightly different. Probably the most obvious way “Playground of the Gods” is different is the lack of an economic system and thousands of spreadsheet calculations.


we have no economy in this one but the next one is a whole different story shudders


Are you kidding? The economy is the best part of it!


“What the hell is that!? Some sort of dog?”

“Oh my god it’s frothing at the mouth!”

The dog sits there staring at the newcomers, one of them approaches the dog but immediately drops to the ground, shaking and dancing as if to music only he could hear

“The shadows are the angels of light! I UNDERSTAND IT ALL, THE SKY IS PURPLE Gkcb akcbgfkCBIIIIIIIYGF…”

“My husband!”

The wife runs to her husband only to fall to madness as she approaches the dog-like creature, gouging out her husbands eyes as he sung oranges and lemons out of tune

“It is a daemon! Be gone Satan-spawn”

A pious flight attendant makes the sign of the cross but the dog is unfazed and approaches her


They try to flee but the dog bounds after them, each one falling to madness as the great beast caught up to them

Meanwhile, a demonic creature rises above the carnage of the once-glorious Geoffers 747. As the civilians watch in horror, the demon summons a massive meteor, crushing the dog in an instant. The trees instantly erupt in flames as the surviving map-gamers beg for a turn summary.

But the mighty demon Teleros, god of the map-gamers, showed no mercy. With a tremendous roar, he crushed them one by one.

“***I’m busy playing World of Warcraft.***”


But a lone survivor emerges, trekking days after days across this dangerous new land. One day, he reaches an almighty hole driven into the earth. Peering in he starts to say “What is that?” But is cut off by a giant ferret leaping out of the hole and devouring him in one bite.

Boom! Crash! Puh-puh-puh-puh. Rattle.
Creativity Meter: 0%

A Gnome walks by the crash
Seeing Teleros he says

“A-HA! he has done it! Behold the absolute power of Wilfred Fizzlebang, master summoner! You are bound to him, demon!”

The Gnome walks away from the crash

1 Like

Does this mean you might join the map game? Perhaps as ferret bandits who prey on the @Andrew91’s poor badgerfolk.


And so ends the Map Game Recruitment Thread