[Fan Fiction] All Alone

Hi guys! I’m back with another story, PDF link down below. But first, some quick trivia.
This story was inspired by the news that Ent’s and Stone Golem enemies would be in the game at some point, so I thought, “How would an Ent army attack a village?” Which led to me writing down what came to mind. Which became this little one shot story below.
I’ve had thoughts of continuing writing it, but nothing final has solidified.

Anyway, enjoy the read! ^^

Fair Warning It’s a bit dark, but, just “Early 90s PG” dark.

AllAlone.pdf (88.9 KB)
Browser version.


It’s a great little story and I enjoyed reading it. Indeed it is a little dark, but it has a certain thrill to it that made me wonder what might happen next.

The story also gives a brief reminder to that one time an entling appeared with a dialogue in game, demanding all your wood and you refused… Though, so far I could only read about that little easter egg over here at the discourse as it never triggered for me, despite destroying forests like a maniac.

I would like to suggest uploading the .pdf to a cloud service like Google Drive and generate a share link from there. That way people can view the document in the comfort of the built-in pdf viewer of their browsers without the necessity of downloading it. Such as seen in my own fan fic thread.


Thanks for responding! I didn’t know about the link share feature, I’ll see what I can do with it. Glad you enjoyed it anyway! : D


I’m not sure if I did it right or not… How do I make it so you can read it in a browser?


You can upload the pdf and right click on the file within the drive, there should be an option that says “create share link” or something (it speaks to me in hungarian, so I can’t tell the exact wording)

Once you got the link you can add it to your post. Though, I suppose google docs can work too.


wow, the story was good and very well written. i hope to see more story’s from you in the future :smile:


Wow! Thanks so much for reading, glad you liked it! ^^


@King_Foxtrot first of all sorry I missed your first (maybe more ?) short story. I will try to give my critique to that short story another time. For now I will just focus on All Alone

Sorry in advanced, sometimes my critique can seem a little harsh, I only write these in order to help you become a better writer.

The first thing I noticed was the first sentence was not so strong (not to mention it is a run on, but since grammer in fiction writing isn’t super important you can ignore that part.) The sentence starts off good with “It happened so fast,” since that is a suspenseful beginning with some very harsh words. However then the sentence uses a soft double negative “but I only needed” which really feels indecisive. On top of that “but” and “only” are words you should avoid in a first sentence because they imply indecision or (depending on usage) they imply description. The sentence continues and says “to see the destruction of the town” again this is fine because it is harsh and leaves the door open for the rest of your story. But then this next part just feels weak to my writers intuition. “For myself to feel the force of our failure.” It’s hard for me to explain but the main thing that is turning me off here is the word “myself” here, “me” sounds much better in context. But it may also be the the four words beginning with the same sound so close together.

The first sentence is the only one I will be ultra-nitpicky with, since indeed it is in the first sentence that a reader makes his decision whether he will read this or leave it.

From there the story begins to look up (from a composition stand point, the plot itself is starting to darken which is good) probably the most apparent “method” that really makes this story come together is the boom-booms. They are all around good, they imply a passage of time, they emphasis the climax, they build suspense, and most importantly they cover up for the fact that the story itself has no action. In my opinion a story that can use emotion and good writing as its appeal is a much stronger story (my favorite composition I have shared on the discourse to date is called A Fight to the Death its in one of the writer’s workshops. Not a variable changes in the story except for a decision in the old man’s brain. There is no violent action, no explosions, there isn’t even any movement, just thoughts. But I am going on a tangent here…)

One small thing that I noticed which could be good or bad depending on opinion is that the character notices some pretty irrelevant stuff and describes it (i.e when he accidentally bruises a few turnips or when he holds back the fowl bile in his mouth.) the reason I could see this being a negative thing is because it is a little tangential and a person wouldn’t really remember that kind of stuff in such a high stake situation. On the other hand people do in fact go into hyper focus mode during an Adrenalin spiked situation. I tend to lean toward the latter way of thinking since indeed the story is told in the present. Perhaps you would run into a problem had you written the story in past tense.

Another few good literary tricks I noticed where things like not naming the ents until the climax. This builds suspense and portrays fear. Or having the squared thoughts written between the booms. You also use ellipses very well.

All in all a great short story and I look forward to reading more of your works. I hope what I wrote helps you.



Thanks for the critique! It really helps in the long run lol. There’s a lot of cool writing tricks I didn’t know until now.

Haha! Thanks. The boom-booms was my idea of, “I wanted to have the reader get the idea that something big is coming without flat out saying what it is”. I was a bit worried that they would get annoying or repetitive after awhile, but I’m glad they worked in the end : )

Yeah they are irrelevant, I think that was just me trying to be more descriptive of the environment. It’s hard to say because it was a year ago and I wrote this just for fun. I love stories that let the reader have an idea of what the environment is like in their head, just from the writing.
Also, in the early first drafts I noticed he didn’t have much “character” other than “being scared” so the turnip bruising (never liked them anyway) was (I think) my way of trying to give him more personality. The “holding back the fowl bile” part could’ve been me trying to emphasize the urgency, the danger and fear.

But anyway, thanks for reading and for helping me be better at writing!

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Truth is I learnt a lot of the tricks along the way from other people giving me critiques. It feels great to be able to give back to the next generation as it were.

Still it is my feeling that since the story is told in the present the character will really notice small things like this. [quote=“King_Foxtrot, post:9, topic:24705”]
But anyway, thanks for reading and for helping me be better at writing!

Really no problem, i’m glad you shared this story and I look forward to more.


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Very nice read indeed. A bit dark as you said, but in the end you imply that it might continue, so not all hope is lost.

I remember that story from @TurtleSquish, its in here Writer's Workshop 3: Submissions (Round One) - ah the memories.

@King_Foxtrot if you enjoy reading as much as writing you can find some interesting stories in the writer’s workshop submissions. As they are pretty short it doesn’t need much time to parse through them. :eyeglasses: :books: :wine_glass:

Oh and let us know if the story continues of course! :slight_smile:


Thanks for reading! I had thoughts before of continuing it, but I have no idea what else to do with it or where else to go. I had the idea of adding a rabbit person when they are finally added in the game, but that’s about it as far as ideas go.
I’ll definitely check out the workshop though, it seems like my kinda jam.

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Oh I do hope there will be another workshop sometime and if so I see forward to face you in the competition! :stuck_out_tongue: