Writer’s Workshop Discussion. Cycle 3, Week 2

If you want to submit your stories then please head on over here.

This thread is for the discussion of everything related to this weeks theme and submitted stories. Be it a critique, suggestion, or just general chat about your favorite submission.

Also feel free to post other stories you were thinking of submitting or other ideas you had around this weeks theme. If you have new ideas for competition themes, you can submit those right here.

Pen at the ready, LSDV prepared, time for some Alice in Wonderland spoof :smile:


It is time. Time for me to write something because it can’t be worse than not.


man i had trouble getting mine down to 400 words, ended up with about 600 to get pared down.

I think it actually helped my writing more than hurting it though, kept the stronger parts but got rid of the unneccesary bits


thanks for the feedback (and the theme!)… that’s precisely what we were aiming for… :smiley:

edit: and wow, nice submission as well! loved the ending… :+1:

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No problem :slight_smile: when you called out the @Zendo in the post it generated an email to me which was the whole reason I came here and wrote that today. Inspired me to write down my original thoughts for what I’d do if you ever did pick my theme!!

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My friend, if those where original thoughts then, well, you’re a couple leaps and bounds ahead of me.

Don’t disparage yourself man, I liked your story too.

It is really common for true artists to dislike their own work and never be satisfied with it - remember that this drive to improve yourself and your ability to recognize where you fall short is your greatest strength.

Most folks give up before they even try. You’re brave to put yourself out there and that puts you 100 steps ahead of everyone else dude. So I salute you! :thumbsup:

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As I said, with you being those leaps and bounds ahead of me, I’m sitting here thinking “And this guy likes my stuff? Yay!” Then i realized that your still better than me. Remember, this is my 2nd story, coming after my very first one in this line last week.

And that one was after pillow story… they will be back… They will be many… They will eat @SteveAdamo and @Geoffers747 next… Possible spoilers for next week? Possibu!

And done, missed the first week though, am I alright?

Yah, Sorry, ya did. So you fail. At everything. Ever.


But seriously, I liked the story, and the only problem with missing last week was we all have a leg up from you from being able to have references we do, like my week’s entry is a continuation of my last one.

I tried to make it seem like the characters didn’t appear out of thin air [quote=“Smith, post:12, topic:2950”]
we all have a leg up from you
[/quote] I don’t think it’ll cause to much trouble.

some very nice words of encouragement… nicely done… :+1:

absolutely! folks can enter at any point before the finals… you simply have to win one of the preceding three weeks to earn a spot in the finals…

time to read your entry! :smiley:

edit: @naturalnuke … i liked your submission, well done! my only advice would be to work on the readability of the content… break it apart a bit more, and it will help with the flow… nice work!

My oh my - I am terribly sorry I did not read anything written here or any of the other submissions before writing my story and putting it up.

wow, the competition has seen a number of submissions… dare i hope the change in structure has had the positive effect i had hoped for? :smiley:

time to read your entry @PDanford!

edit: haha… love the homage to Alice… and the “well, time is running out… let’s summarize” ending… :smile:


I am working on my story too. And @PDanford I read your submission before your post here and was thinking to myself “W…w…what? I didn’t write my story yet!”

It’s absolutely fine, it’s not exactly too difficult to reach the reference :wink: in fact, you’ve won a cycle, no? Provides hope if we think alike :wink:

likewise… i think i need to get to work on part II… :blush:

so many ideas already used regarding the bunny folk though…

[quote=“Smokestacks, post:17, topic:2950”]in fact, you’ve won a cycle, no? Provides hope if we think alike :wink:

Sorry mate I only won the one or other round but never won in a finals match… sigh

Dang, I forgot the title hierarchy. My bad. :blush:

Phew, just got mine in!

A little more time to spare compared to last week. I decided to try my next illustration in pencil and paper, rather than trying to do it all with a PAINT program on my computer–I think it’s better…

You’ll also notice I went closer to the artwork on the Stonehearth media pages, rather than in-game graphics–Grenda and the Leporian have elbows! After looking back at my previous picture, it just seemed awkward trying to copy the voxel style in a picture, so I’d like to stick to this new format if you guys prefer it. It feels more like a comic book, personally. I kind of like it, but really, it’s up to you guys. (I survive on feedback…)

Also, if you were wondering, “Leporian” is a play off of Leporidae, the scientific family that includes hares and rabbits.

Edit: Crud @naturalnuke , looking back, my story’s plot is awfully similar to yours… I’m sorry, I should have looked a bit more at everyone’s entries so far.

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