Welcome To The Funhouse!

Welcome one and all to THE FUNHOUSE! I had a very gloomy day to day so I thought to start this topic so as to lighten up everyone’s mood. Now I know what you are thinking:

“What’s @Newf up to this time?, the crazy dog has barely told me what this topic is about!”

Well my good man, woman or miscellaneous on this topic we shall tell and discuss (There is no avoiding discussion shivers) jokes. I shall start:

There’s an English man, Irish man and a Scotsman. They’re being chased by a policeman. They see this old warehouse so they run in. Inside there are 3 empty sacks on the floor. They each jump in a sack. In comes the copper and see’s these three bundles on the floor. Goes up to the first one and kicks it. The English man shout out, “Woof Woof”, and the copper thinking it’s just an old dog leaves it and kicks the second sack. The Scotsman yells out, “Me-ow me-ow”, he leaves this one as well thinking its just an old cat. He walks over to the last sack and kicks it, and the Irish man yells out… “Potatoes Potatoes…!”

Now your turn!

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Woo jokes! I can’t think of any long and awesome ones like yours so I’m just gonna throw out two short ones:

A blonde walks into a bar.
“Ouch!” She says.


This guy had his whole left side completely cut off; he’s all right now.

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I just searched up Paddy Irishman, Englishman and Scottish man with Google.

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Now @phector2004, be nice. From what I can tell @Drotten is a new user and I wouldn’t want you to scare him off.

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Its just something that came to mind when I read Drotten’s joke! :smile:

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Oh, ok. I thought you were pointing fun at him. Sorry.

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2 guys setting at the bar drinking.

guy 1 “hey did you know that if we went up top and jump off the edge the wind is strong enough that it will blow you back on the roof?”

guy 2 “No way. Can not be done”

guy 1 “I can prove it, follow me”

They go to the top of the roof of the bar, standing at the edge.

guy 2 " It cant be done sorry" looking down.

guy 1 “Watch”

Guy 1 jumps off the bar and halfway down he comes back to the top of the roof, landing on his feet.

guy 2 “WHAT, NO WAY, that just happened. Crazy”

guy 1 “Now you try it” smiling.

guy 2 “I’m to scared. it was a fluke.”

guy 1 “Look I’ll do it again. If I’m blown back on the roof, then you try it. Okay?”

guy 2 “Okay!”

Guy 1 again jumps off the roof, halfway down is back on the roof on his feet.

guy 2 “Wow, okay yeah i gotta do this!” astonished.

Guy 2 steps up and jumps, and hits the pavement. dead

An hour later Guy 1 is watching them load him up in the ambulance. The ambulance driver looks at him.

“I hate it when your drunk Superman”


That was pretty good.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his pants.
The bartender asks: "Why is there a steering wheel on your pants?"
The pirate replies: “Arggghhh, it’s driving me nuts!”


Well I might as well join in with a classic:

A Man walks into a bar. He walks up to the bar and sits down on a stool, he says to the Bartender “I’ll have a tin roof please”, but the Bartender doesn’t know how to make this drink. So the man tells the Bartender how to make the drink, and so the Bartender hands the drink to the Man. he drinks the whole glass, and starts to head for the door, the Bartender says “Hey! Aren’t you gonna pay for that drink?” To which the Man replies “Didn’t you know? The Tin Roof, its on the house!”

Bah-dun, tsssh!

Thank you ladies and gentlemen I’ll be here all week. :stuck_out_tongue:


Two chemists walks into a bar the first one says “I’ll just have some H2O” then the second chemist says “I’ll just have some H2O too”. Then the first one smiled because his secret plan about killing the other had succeed.

(Chemistry jokes are always funny :stuck_out_tongue: )


That is oddly grim…

Never drink H2O2 its bloody poisonous :smiley: (Who needs a better moral of a story anyway?)

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So a blonde rushes to the emergency department because of sharp pain in her abdomen.

The doctor takes her in, examines her, and tells her, “I think you have acute appendicitis.”

She replies, “That’s very sweet of you, doc, but I came here to get some medical help!”