Slave to Armok: God of Blood: Dwarf Fortress

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@Swift_Cube

Already looked. My fortress is now at a population of 48.

@Swift_Cube @SirCamOfRon

My fishery workers have gone berserk. What do I do? They have already killed 2 people but I am pretty sure they have killed more and will kill more, They also killed a couple Dogs which I will not stand for!

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THIS HAS TO STOP!!! HE HAS OFFICIALLY NOW STARTED PUNCHING KITTENS!!!

I am all in favour of killing cats but dear god, A kitten? Really? Not even @geoffers747 is this evil, and He is @Geoffers747

Update: The Kitten is now dead. Casualties now include around 5 dwarves, 3 puppies and 3 dogs. The injured Number over 40

2 Likes
223

ā€œHis tongue is bruisedā€

Priceless! :smiley:

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The Enraged Fisherman is now dead and even in death he persists to try and destroy my fortress by spreading Miasma all over the bloody Storage Room!

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You think you have it badā€¦ you should count yourself lucky: the Enraged Fisherman has nothing against an Enraged Soapmakerā€¦ the stories I can tell youā€¦

Shudders

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226

Well? You canā€™t very well say that and then not tell us :stuck_out_tongue: !

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227

The Enraged Fisherman was nothing compared to what came nextā€¦dear godā€¦What came next was horrifyingā€¦

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What was it, what did you see!?!?!

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It wasā€¦It wasā€¦

Migrants have arrived

At first I thought this was your average Migrationā€¦Then I looked at their professionsā€¦NOBLES!!!..Every last one of them, Not one peasantā€¦ We have locked our doors and raised our bridgesā€¦The Nobles wait for us outside like wolves, besieging us ā€¦We are running out of Waterā€¦Send helpā€¦

3 Likes
230

weā€™ll send goblins, quickly.

1 Like
231

Ok i tried dwarf fortress advneture mode. and i have only one thing to say: Always buy a Helmet, ALWAYS. I have now died 2 time by charging a a quite weak looking goblin bandit, then he draws is bow and shoot me in the head. I dies a second later

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We have officially run out of booze, I repeat we have run out of boozeā€¦

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Have you heard of the Dwarven Atom Smasher? It may come in handy in this scenario.

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You intrigue me, What is this atom smasher that you speak of?

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I think he means this.

In the mean timeā€¦ yeah. No booze? Good luck there mate :smiley: .

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow in the head!

2 Likes
237

I fixed the no booze problem, The nobles were drinking from the river and thenā€¦

Who knew carp would save my assā€¦

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But how do you get water?!

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I dunno, I will wait till the river freezes to kill them off. Until then we have booze!!!

Oh and one of my Farmers had to be executedā€¦

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Ladies and Gentledwarves, It appears that a giant scorpion has attacked. I have raised all the bridges and locked my doors and lets hope to god it cant fit through a 1 metre wide tunnel. But I have a problem. How do I recall all my dwarves so they are not killed while they are outside?