This was an assignment for English class. After some internal conflict I decided to post it on the discourse. I hope you guys enjoy. Please tell me what you think. Support keeps us writers going 
Are you attending classes regularly? If so, this guide is crucial to your success. The technique I’m about to share has been proven and tested by professionals. All you’re going to need for this method will be a ping pong ball, a marker, and a knife or scissors. Before going to school, cut the ping pong ball in half and draw a detailed pupil on each side. Now you’re ready for anything your teacher will throw at you. First, choose a seat in the back or the side of the classroom. You’re going to want to look prepared. Therefore bring the correct books, paper, pens, etc. After you sit down and make yourself comfortable, begin getting into the habit of nodding your head every few seconds. A subtle up and down motion is all that is necessary. Then, when you’re sure the teacher is completely distracted (when he/she is writing on the board is always a good time,) pop half of the ping pong ball into each eye. Finally, proceed to fall asleep in an upright and attentive position. There you have it. With this ingenious trick, all your educational worries are over. Until the test…
( @SteveAdamo don’t show this to your kids, they’ll never attend class again )