Not hearth quest as player 2

i’m playing multiplayer with a friend and for some reason i’ve not gotten a notification to choose my hearth yet. i named my town and got the gold flakes you start with as reya’s children but have not gotten to choose my hearth. i’ve no notifications and i have 11 hearthlings.

possible issue: the game was laggy when he got it (connection issues)

nevermind, having him load the save game allowed it to trigger