Fallout Writing (Diary)


#1

Hello there everyone i recently spotted the writer position in the Fallout mod and even though there are no storys to currently write that NEED to be in the mod I just deicded to write a diary anyway, I like writing so here i go!

Dear Diary,

Today was a eventful day the town was attack by bandits a trader tried to posion my people with his food and the brotherhood of steel ISN’T happy with us. But I will go over all this soon but for now I have news, that a vault has opened we sent over some scouts to check it out and have not heard back. First off I shall talk about about the bandit attack at exactly 8:34 A.M. I heard the screams of my people I looked out my window and swore, How had the Bandits got passed our guards??? I would have to talk with them later but for now I had to protect my people. I grabbed my Rifle and a few boxes of ammo opened the window and screamed “HEY BANDITS WANT SOME GOODS THEN COME HERE” and shot one clear in the head. I suppose I haven’t lost my touch. There were 4 left I pick another one off but now 3 remain and they are shooting at my window furiously I get down for cover. I hear some more gun fire then silence, I get up off the floor and theres my general with a few guards, why weren’t they there before??? I had to question them, I run down to the ground floor and say “Why did you even LET them in?” the general grunts and says I’m a heavy sleeper""WHAT?!"I reply “you mean to say you can’t hear people screaming? Or gunfire?” “Well” said the general nervously "I had to grab my gun!"Sigh "Fine then you are dismissed I will whip you into shape later. “Bandits” I mutter under my breath Curse them. After that things only got worse, we were running out of rations our crops wouldn’t grow for another month or so, We were hungry and willing to take risks a trader came by promising low cost food. We let him in, he said 35 days worth of rations for a box of rifle ammo I quickly accepted i should’ve known it was a trick as soon as some of my settlers bit in they fell to the floor. "What? Whats is this???"I asked the trader he replied, “A warning” then he said something about freedom and blew himself up killing a person. I had enough bad luck in one day I let loose I hit a training dummy with a baseball bat until it broke, I relized this will solve nothing so I decided to try to solve the food problem. We had one good option, the brotherhood of steel. So I went, with 2 guards. Nothing stopped us while we were traveling.

(Getting Kinda late where I am so I’m gonna end there for now stay tuned for more!)


#2

i always appreciate new writing/writers, so :+1:

my only quick critique: some paragraphs would make this much more legible… :smile:


Fallout Conversion
#3

liking what I’m reading, but the pacing is a bit fast. You could slow it down a bit and expand the story a little more. Other than that keep on writing.


#4

Thanks :smile: I like my writing being fast paced but i understand that people like slow story I will try to expand on it!


#5

(Continued Diary)

As we reached the farmliar looking walls of the citadel or as some now it “The Pentagon” I started to wonder " I already owe them a favor, will they give me another one? Or will they question me?"well hoping is better than having no hope at all so I yelled “it’s me! Stoney from Stonehearthia? Remember me?” "Have you come to re pay your debt?“asked a guard who was wearing flashy power armor and had the looks of a master soldier. “If only MY soldiers were like this I wouldn’t have to beg the brotherhood for help” “No but I have come with a deal” “Too bad” the guard replied you don’t come in until you have a thing to pay us with”“Well I do!” I say "See this vial?“I say showing them my mothers perfume bottle “Yes” he replies “Well the liquid in it is mutated to cur ANY illness this will be my payment” “We will let you in the scientist will look at it” the gates open and me and my guards walk in. We continue down the stairs into the main hall, he is waiting. The leader of the brotherhood recently appointed they call him Tom or “The creator” no one knows why though… Anyways the scientist said immediately it was false! How could he know? From just looking??? “My guards will see you out stoney” said Tom “Wait” a whisper " I need food and badly I will never beg from you again if you do this for me!” “Well too bad then” he says as he tosses me out the door “You are NOT welcome here we are enemies now…” Things aren’t looking good but, at least I still have my mothers bottle… it means so much to me…

Sincerely,
Stoney

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#6

keep on writing you have very good imagination. :grin:

The dialogue got a little confusing and i had to re-read some of it to figure out which character was speaking. i think there is a rule somewhere of when a different character speaks you start a new line. Anyway that would help make it a little less confusing to read.

Don’t be afraid to paint the scene with words either, a brief description of the citadel (e.g. material, size, location) would help set the scene a little more.

Didn’t feel like we were racing through this time, which i liked.

Hope the feedback helps


#7

Thank you for your support I will keep on writing things and you might see me (and my works) appear in some mods. ALso thanks for the feedback describing things is hard if YOU have a picture in your mind but don’t know how to put it on paper (or on a screen for this matter) I will try to improve and, thanks for everything!


#8

Hey happy to give some constructive feedback. I’ve dabbled in creative writing and the least i can do is try and pass on some of the tips given to me.

Practice makes perfect, just keep writing. Also read other authors works and try to find what makes their book/writing good.

Play to your strengths and your passion and have fun. Also experiment, try new things and get outside your comfort zone even if you write some stuff that no one ever reads the experience can be invaluable.

Good luck


#9

I’ve been working up to have enough confidence to enter the writing thing I juts might try my hand at it :wink: thanks for enouraging me!


#10

annnnnd, have you entered the workshop? taps his foot impatiently

well, wait no longer my friend… give it a go! :+1:


#11

no… sir… hangs head