This thread is for the discussion of everything related to this weeks theme and submitted stories. Be it a critique, suggestion, or just general chat about your favorite submission.
Also feel free to post other stories you were thinking of submitting or other ideas you had around this weeks theme.
Well I did like the theme, my story idea basically jumped at me and the words just flew from my mind onto the screen. The only hurdle is sometimes to find the correct/best word in English.
I can’t exactly point my finger at it, but stories read more natural in English than in German.
Maybe its just me but German texts tend to have sort of a dry, bristle, stilted feeling to them and it takes a lot of effort to avoid this.
So - this competition is very refreshing for me and I fully intend to bother yall as much with my dubious creativity as I can.
By chance I might even learn from feedback
(this was a request to PM me with feedback if you have any)
I like the topic of this week. However, so far I was not writing any stories in English. Do not fully agree with you @PDanford. I think German is a nice language to write and it is very colorful. Maybe it has not the best reputation and sounds not as melodic and charming as others .
What I am struggling a bit with is the limitation to 500 words. Actually I did not see it at the beginning and just wrote what I had in my mind. Limiting a text to 500 words makes it difficult for me to transport not only the content of a story, but also the atmosphere of the scenery and motivation of characters.
we were struggling with the word count as well… it was suggested really as a means to to help folks who are reading the submissions, as opposed to writing… what level would you be more comfortable with?
Just to chime in here, for the open rounds I believe 500 words should be pretty okay.
Imagine like 20 entries to be judged… so it encourages reading the entries and it requires the authors to be more creative about how to transport more with less.
For the finals though I personally would believe that even a count of 2000 words should be fine.
I would love to hear any and all feedback on my story . I do have a fair amount of experience writing, it’s something I’ve always enjoyed. And if there is one thing that I’ve learned, it’s that you’re blind to only the most obvious of things in your own writing, so as much feedback as possible is a must, haha.
So if you have a thought, please do tell . Hopefully people take the time to read it, I’d hate to lose because I’m the fourth entry, haha. But I’m having fun with this regardless! I went a more Stonehearthian lore route with this one, did it work out?
Well first off I’ll have to play the role of resident grouch again to point out that you slightly exceeded the word count, maybe libreoffice writer just has a different way to count but it tells me that its 516 words.
I have no troubles with that, but you should check with @SteveAdamo if its tolerable.
And now the better part starts: because its a great story and I would hate if its disqualified because of technicalities.
And this is now just my personal opinion: Something about the ending feels wrong… I understand what you tried to achieve I believe, but for me it just feels like its trailing off, maybe because it did not make click for me and I don’t understand what the boy likes in cities that he would care to dream about them.
yes, this is acceptable… i think we mentioned it elsewhere (in the rules thread perhaps), that a slight overage/forgiveness would be allowed… and 16 words is well within that range…
the bigger problem i see is that i like all the entries… the topic was so abstract, i was tempted to allow a second theme, and give folks the choice… but i am very surprised and impressed with all the entries so far!
I appreciate the concern greatly, but I did check with @SteveAdamo first, so we’re good .
And I think I understand what you’re saying about the ending. How it didn’t quite flow as smooth as the rest. I liked what I did with it, but the wording just never worked out the way I wanted. I still like it well enough though. You said it just kind of trailed off, were you looking for a more conclusive or maybe more definitive end? Do you think that would’ve better suited this story?
Oh, and it wasn’t supposed to be so much the city itself, but the adventure of embarking on a journey and building something great that he dreamt about. But I can see how, again, that wording just didn’t play out with the desired tone…but I still like it
Thanks for the feedback! It can’t get better if there’s nothing wrong with it, now can it? And it can always get better
Hopefully the next week doesn’t have such an abstract topic, I couldn’t find much to write about and only got fifty words in an unfinished story. I couldn’t find a way to continue after Introducing “Allwissende” @PDanford I’m sure you know what that means.
Firstly I like to say thank you very much, because it sounds like what I wrote did have some impact, but honestly I dont know what you mean with Allwissende. I started out imagining some alchemist and somehow this text took shape.
Secondly… I am just dabbling and look what happened, so I say - do dabble! Do dabble by all means and write! I never knew what would happen when I started writing and its really not important if it works out or not.
Because what @cablex17 wrote is completely true, if you don’t practice you won’t get better.
The next thing I write quite probably will be total crap, but I wont hold back - yes all will have to suffer and I won’t be sorry at all - so I say bring it!
im going to shorten both the voting and submission windows, so we can get a little more momentum with the contest… i am very pleased and surprised by the results so far though!
@naturalnuke, I was going to suggest almost the same thing as you for the 2nd week:
“The story of Mer Burlyhands” --> and how he survived to the zombie apocalypse! xD
meh, it could have been another name, and I don’t know which length would have a story based on this idea, so I won’t submit it… Still thinking in other possibilities, we need original and varied themes for all the competitions…