i’ve been avoiding this thread, as it… well, it just scares me…
but this made me laugh, and for that, i applaud thee… 
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I think this is becoming my favourite thread because who does’nt like a good story
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So, I’ve decided to give YOU a quick rundown on one of the !FUN!est parts of dwarf fortress, accompanied by a story.
First, I use masterwork dwarf fortress, a mod that adds alot to the game. (Note: This may contain SOME spoilers) I use this room to train my dwarves, the one with all the brown lines. i use them (Spear traps made of wood) To train my dwarves by basicaly wacking them with the spear heads, training them up fast. The only danger to this is that they need to be kitted out in full armor and wepons, or else they will take damage from the wood spears, another thing to note, be careful to not let mothers bring their children in, as they will get stabbed.
And now the story.
The mastiff in the center of this image was assigned to a secret !FUN! Dwarf, i kept him on them so that if they became !FUN! My military would have time to react, eventually i locked him inside the room you see now, and left him to starve, They starved to death inside and the mastiff watched as their “Owner” Slowly starved to death. Eventually, they disappeared off the screen, when I unlocked the door, we found his corpse, and took it to a grave and buried it, the mastiff still sits in the center of the room his master died in, never to see him again as i buried him quickly, lest his haunted half !FUN! Spirit ever come back.
bit off-topic but I think Amorok sounds better then Armok, I often say Amorok instead of Armok because of this
ELF! ELF! BURN THEM IN MAGMA AND CUT DOWN ALL TREES! BURN! BURN! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! Could have at least said something about my story…
YOU DARE CALL ME AN ELF!!! PREPARE FOR WAR YOU SCOUNDREL!!!
your story is cool but it lacks a certain something, you know? before you were just posting stories because its cool to talk about Dwarf Fortress but now your doing it to make yourself look cool.
“When someone does not post something to look cool but to tell the community about his misadventures, that is the true meaning of the internets” -Newf
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I guess you have a point, i posted it because you wanted some, not to talk about it, but mabey i should have lied and said it turned out the dog mauled him to death…
AH, MY LIOSON ARIVED DURING A SEIGE! PANIC! PANIC!
what the hell is that??
WHAT DO YOU THINK? THE KING’S DIPLOMAT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! IF HE DIES I’M DEAD!
UNLEASH THE HOUNDS OF WAR!!! whoops, they ate the Lioson I told him not to wear the stylish meat dress. Wrong person you stupid buggers!!!
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liaison, perhaps… 
nudges thread back on track
Anyone know how to make an army of dogs in dwarf fortress?
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Get one dwarf fully armored, get a kennel, get a male and female dog… then wait… after a while you’ll have HUNDREDS DOGS Then just use V, go to the military dwarf, and assign them the war dogs. (v + p + e) You have to train them first and make sure you have a animal training zone. (i)
You have to go to the stocks screen and animals and hit w on the dogs. (I think)
screw that! I was going to pile em up as a wall, when monsters see those poor doggies they will think were terrible evil dwarves who are not to be messed with also nobody not even the scariest most forgotten moster ever is going to punch a puppy even if doing so will knock down a wall that has juicy dwarves on the otherside
I’m sorry to tell you this but… forgotten beasts prioritize puppies over dwarves when attacking. It’s a glitch because they think the puppy attacked them first and is the greatest threat. They also hate puppies.
SCREW GAME MECHANICS, ROLEPLAY MECHANICS ARE WAY BETTER!!!
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I believe that is the Eve Online learning cliff graph which applies equally to DF
Love DF haven’t got the time to invest in learning it. Satisfy myself with the marvelous stories
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I love how according to this graph, there is a point where you have to be going backwards in time to be skilled enough to play it.
Pretty much sums it up 
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You’re making it sound all hard like, although for most extreme difficulty curve I’ve ever seen nothing beats KOHCTPYKTOP. It sounds like it could be serious competition for the title though but I don’t know, KOHCTPYKTOP even with checking wikipedia and google is mind numbingly difficult as long as you don’t use a walkthrough, makes simple things like Hell Tetris and Spin the Black Circle positively relaxing in comparison. Sounds like fun, now to go download it!
I think it says something about the name if it’s easier to pronounce backwards…
I’ll look into that later!