A Goblin Funeral

So the goblins do burn their dead


I thought they would use their dead as food


Maybe lol. After they cook them here. MAN these guys burn everything. They would probably try and burn themselves too if they could.

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Goblin 1: If I keep burning myself, eventually I will be fire-proof!

Goblin 2: That’s an amazing idea! I will do it too!!!


And us villagers would just watch and laugh at the sight. For those fires of theirs can burn stone and metal. “LET THE GOBLINS BURN”

When they burn though they will probably try and raid our villages, so they will set fire to us too.

Some Goblins just want to see the world burn…Who am I kidding? All the Goblins want to see the world burn.


New profession “Fireman”

As the goblin verse goes.

“Fire is pretty. Sure is neat. Hook that orphan! Burn his feet!”

And another

“If you’re bored just light a fire—if that don’t work just burn it higher!”

Holy Christ i love goblin poems.

Goblins chew and goblins bite.
Goblins cut and goblins fight
Stab the dog and cut the horse,
Goblins eat and take by force!

Goblins race and goblins jump.
Goblins slash and goblins bump.
Burn the skin and mash the head,
Goblins here and you be dead!

Chase the baby, catch the pup.
Bonk the head to shut it up.
Bones be cracked, flesh be stewed,
We be goblins! You be food!



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“Looks like meat’s back on the menu, boys!”


So sad… :cry: Goblin stew, anyone?

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@thorbjorn42gbf those are gold! I would even recommend dedicating a whole post to those beauties! You really have a talent for “cruel” poetry xD

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i would love to see stuff like this said by goblins at some point in the game.