Alieus is a short story I wrote a while back. Here’s chapter one tell me what you think.
A farm is completely destroyed and surrounded by fire. Loud explosions can be heard through out
the area. Alieus wakes up surrounded by rumble and without his sight.
He wonders around aimlessly and struggles to get up.
He trembles in fear and starts to cry.
His ears still ringing from the explosion that destroyed his home.
Help! I can’t see, is anyone there?
In frustration he stands up and he yells, as loud as
SOMEONE HELP ME!
The sound of his voice echoes through out the rumble
and burn out structures. In the distance a green light
blinks and turns red. The sound of Alieus’ voice
activates 811 his CVR robot. The sounds of moving
rumble are being made by the robot. As it pries itself
lose and beings repairing itself.
Alieus sits on the ground and finally starts to calm
down. He starts to regain some of his vision and
becomes relieved. But then he realizes something
He screams and realizes that his sister Lilye is
missing and he immediately starts looking for her. He
runs towards his house and his mind starts to wonder. If
everyone is dead and if he is the only one left. The
lights around the house are gone and he races to the
front of his home. It’s to dark for him to make out
what is in front of him. He hears something coming towards him but he cannot tell
from which direction its coming from. Nor can he make out what or who it might be.
WHO IS THERE?!
He trembles in fear and has he turns around a bright light comes towards
him and momentarily blurs his vision. As his eyes adjust he sees 811 and he is relived.
In joy he hugs 811.
Lets go in to the house and look to see if everyone is
811 and Alieus move towards the house and they begin
to search the home. The robot uses it’s sensors and
detects Lilye under some rumble.
You found her good job.
In joy he rushes to his sister to find that she was
not harmed at all and she’s in deep sleep. 811 opens
a compartment inside of it’s body and Alieus puts
Lilye inside to keep her safe. Alieus and 811 continue
to search for Alieus’ parents. Using 811’s sensors
they find Alieus’ parents in side the family room.
He runs towards them and 811 lifts a large concert
object from on top of them. They both discover that
they’re dead. Alieus is over whelmed by emotions
and starts to cry while holding on to his mother’s
hand. He moves to his father and starts to talk to
them while crying.
I will take care of Lilye as much as I can.
I promise and I will do the best that I can. Good-bye!
Still crying he orders 811 to search the basement
to make sure it’s safe for them to sleep in. 811 opens
his compartment with Lilye and hands her over to Alieus.
While holding Lilye in is arms he starts to smile.
811 returns and tells Alieus that it’s safe and they
walk to the basement to sleep for the night.
The basement is a bunker full of beds, lights, a power
generator, bathroom and a large door to cover the
entrance. Food, water, clothes, machine parts
and a small garden of plants are all in the basement.
While in the basement he helps Lilye clean up and
she falls asleep in his arm and he carries her over to a bed.
Before he goes to sleep, he tells his robot to move
his parent’s body outside so he can get ready to bury
them in the morning. 811 leaves the basement to start
working on the burial. Alieus lays in bed and
goes to sleep. The lights automatically go off in the
Alieus, Lilye and 811 are standing out in a large grassy
area and the bodies of his mom and dad are in the ground.
They begin to bury the bodies in to the ground.
Lilye with her small hands throws as much dirt as she can.
Alieus uses a shovel and 811 extends his arms to the ground.
To push the dirt down into the grave.
(Thinking to him self.)
***I wanted to put you guys here. Because I know you will
be very happy here… in the fields. ***
After a few hours, if was done He picked up Lilye and
she waves good-bye to her parents. 811 starts to play
a song. That the family loved to sing while they were working on the
farm. They stood by the grave and the sun started to fade in to the horizon.
Well, that’s it guys. Please tell me what you think.